Toxic people, individuals who seek to cause chaos or trouble within another person’s life. Yes, I mean SEEK! Some people will argue that these people do not realize what they are doing…but honey, they do. That is why they are toxic. They are hurt people who want to hurt people. Don’t get me wrong..they may not “want” to hurt other people, but they do despise others that are not feeling the way they feel. You know, that feeling we get: “Why are they so happy and I cannot find happiness?” Well, that is how it all starts out. Some people are able to find help while others become more toxic (eventually poisoning those around them). Let’s face it, we all have encountered some toxic people through our families, friends, lovers, coworkers, and even strangers. Hey, we may have even been toxic ourselves at one point. But all in all, toxic people can be dangerous. Like an infection that spreads all over the body, breaking a person down mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and sadly, physically. So BE AWARE!
Types of Toxic People:
- “Negative Nancy”
“Negative Nancy” is a person who has to find the negative in every and anything. They typically use exaggerations like “ugh” with anything that comes out of their mouths. Never anything positive to say. And don’t let ANYONE tell them different, they will make sure to argue back with you about how life is so bad and everyone sucks. Of course, we have these moments where we want to say, “Really, though?” But come on, 24/7 of nonstop negativity will only bring you down as a person as well as make you adopt that negative mindset. The best thing to do with this is to address it. If nothing changes, confidently separate yourself for a while.
- Constant Critic
These type of people are the ones you need to set straight and let them have it. They will critique, critique, and critique you until you become a completely different person. (And no, I don’t mean when you ask a good friend to give you their opinion on an outfit). In this type of predicament, they believe they basically (as I would say it), sh*t gold (excuse my language). This person believes they are above you and you need them to become a better person. As if? The secret to this, though. Verbally, they may tell you that they are better…but deep down…they are using you to fix their own insecurities. For example, these critics might tell you that you are too fat or too skinny or your eyes are too big and that you should fix yourself if you want to be attractive. Uh huh? You sure you aren’t talking about yourself? A person who likes you will like you for you and only seek to provide advice that will help you, not degrade you. People like this…it is better to either avoid or set strict boundaries with.
- Supportive Slacker
No matter what kind of relationship you get in (whether with family, friends, lovers, or coworkers), you will have someone who will not agree with what you are doing. That is perfectly fine. We all have opinions and have that ability to be different from one another. However, though, there is a way to disagree. If a person does not support you in your decisions and finds a way to put you down in the process, then you need to reconsider that person if your life. Do you really want a person in your life who will call you “stupid,” “dumb,” and an “idiot” for decisions you have made that ended up being a mistake? I know I wouldn’t. You cannot encourage a person by pushing them down. Support (not agreeing but speaking with care)should be there regardless. Step away from those people who cannot show you support, otherwise, they are holding you back.
- Pain Seekers
Pain seekers. Yeah, these people can be quite manipulative and unpredictable. They enjoy pain. Why? Well, it helps numb their own. Its like a drug. I want to make you hurt so I can watch you feel my pain. It is a bit sick but people who are so far deep into their toxicity will do this. They will try to make you feel negative feelings like anger, sadness, envy, worthlessness, and every pain you can imagine. They can be verbal or physical with their approach. They will say or do hurtful things to you that they KNOW will bother you. Preying on your weakness. Oh, but best believe..they will deny it to the end. “I didn’t mean to.” Psh, yeah right. People like this need to be away from your life. They will ONLY cause you harm until they find true peace within themselves.
- Crazed Competitor
It’s always nice to have a little competition. You know, the little moments on the basketball court or dancing on the dancefloor or Pictionary games with the family. Remember what I said, “MOMENTS.” Moments are a short period of time, which is the amount of time you should have for competition with people in your life (I can see here and there with coworkers). However, you should not always be competing with someone to figure out who is better, ESPECIALLY in a romantic relationship. Who makes more? Who has a better this? Who has a better that? You will seriously drain yourself out trying to “one up” the other. You will not get to appreciate what you have. This is toxic. It will not only change you, but it will change the whole dynamic of a relationship (any relationship). With this type of situation, you should sit down and reevaluate what you want, a healthy relationship or a professional competitor?
- Mr./Mrs. Always Right
You ever meet someone who was always right? Yeah, me neither. NO ONE is always right. We make mistakes. We get something wrong here and there. We are human…but not to Mr./Mrs. Always Right, they know it all! Not only do they know every and anything, they typically will never give you a genuine apology for something they did wrong. They will put the blame on you for being wrong even though you may have been right. It can suck. Why? Well, you will start to second-guess yourself. It may not be at first but after a while, you will. Hm, was it my fault? No. But you will start thinking about the would’ve, could’ve, should’ves. They will mentally alter your mind, leaving you in a whirlwind of thoughts. This is not healthy. A person should be able to admit when they are wrong and allow themselves to understand why they are wrong. People who cannot and will not do this are toxic. It is all about me, me, me, me…oh yeah, ME! Do you really need this in your life? Think about it.
- Mr./Mrs. Hot and Cold
These people *takes a breath* are exhausting. They never know what they want. One minute they want this. The next minute they want that. You are probably wondering, how is this toxic? It is especially if another person is depending on them as a support system. These people are not dependable. For example, it is like dating someone who tells you they like you on Monday then by Wednesday they act like they don’t like you. Oh yeah, by the way, on Thursday…they are back to liking you. How about a friend who says they will always have your back but then switch up and act like they do not know you? Or, a family member who tells you they want to build a relationship but then will switch into a nasty person around you? Yes, toxic. They are unpredictable and do not care about anyone else’s feelings, unfortunately. Imagine how much of an emotional rollercoaster that can be. Your emotions do not even have time to process the drastic change. You do not need that chaos in your life because honestly, it will drive you insane. Eliminate these people quickly!
- The Abuser
Before I begin, you should put your finger on the delete button on your phone and erase this person from your life COMPLETELY (if you can, seek professional help if it becomes serious). These people will hurt you. They are lost individuals. Most abusers have come from troubled pasts themselves and have not found that positive guidance in their lives. However, that does NOT give them the right to lash out their anger on someone else whether it is mentally, emotionally, sexually, or physically. No one deserves abuse! With these types of individuals, they sadly prey on the weak who have their own “baggage.” Manipulation is a big factor with their abuse. They make you feel like you are so so small and have nothing to live for. You are worthless in their eyes because that’s how they feel about themselves. Unfortunately, they have become what hurt them. Do not do this. Leave to avoid becoming them. You are worth so much more than you can even imagine. Your present situation is a mere factor to what you have the ability to become. Seek help and avoid this toxic person.
All in all, toxic people can be found anywhere. It can be those around you or it can be the person who you see in the mirror, yourself. However you come across these types of people, they are toxic for a positive life. Toxic people will only lead to negative outcomes. Be aware and stay clear. And if you are that toxic person, try to find the root of it all…Is there something in your past that made you the way you are? Are you having issues expressing yourself in a positive way? Talk to someone and create a plan to become a better you. The great thing about life is that it keeps going. Who you were yesterday and today does not have to be who you are tomorrow. Find. Your. Happiness.
Written by Ashlee Scott, blogger