Coming Into Your Own: The 20s Phase

So you have hit your 20s. The most LIBERATING time of your life. You are officially an “adult.” Yeah, it sounds all peachy…until life unexpectedly hits you. Whether you have started college, work, or wherever you may be, your 20s are hard no matter what background you come from. This time of your life is like fitting into a puzzle that you are not quite sure exactly what it is. It is hard…especially when you have society telling you who and what you should be.

Many people in their 20s have a loss sense of direction. Not like using Google Maps or knowing your right from left. I mean who and what they truly NEED to be. I say NEED, because people tend to try to alter themselves based upon the reactions that others receive. For example, do not try to become a lawyer due to the prestige it receives when in reality, you truly want to be an artist. Be who you NEED to be. That is the only way you will get what you want out of life–happiness.

Don’t get me wrong, though, it is not as easy as it sounds. Your 20s definitely leave you to question yourself and your circumstance:

  • “Will I end up anywhere in life?”
  • “I should have this by now. Am I a failure?”
  • “Why do I keep facing so many obstacles?”
  • “Why can’t I be like them?”

As children and adolescence, we are programmed to typically believe that everything will be “perfect” and that we will know exactly who we are in our 20s. Sorry to break the news but most of us won’t…and that is okay. We do not know ourselves. We don’t. We are LEARNING ourselves. Our child self and our adolescent self is completely different from our adult self. We like and dislike a variety of things we may not have expected. We also experience new challenges and opportunities than we did as our younger self. That does not mean we are any less than what we are.

In this 20s phase, it can be so easy to compare ourselves to someone who “has it all figured out” but try to refrain from that mental abuse. You are killing yourself inside trying to be someone and something else. And you know what is kind of funny about it all? Someone is probably looking at your life right now believing you “have it all figured out.” Crazy, huh? We all need to understand that we are different and we are learning. Most of us come from different backgrounds, but that should not discourage you. Like I say, there is no deadline for life! You are in control of you. You are in control of what and who you are…but you need to find yourself in that process.

Be selfish. Be so focused on yourself that you are not easily influenced enough to change who you truly NEED to be. Without a doubt, life can be very hard (especially in this “exploration stage” of your life). Rebuild, rebuild, rebuild…and understand that everyone around you is learning (even though it may not appear that way).

So pick your head up, detox your mind, and continue YOUR journey with positive thoughts. In fact, everything happens for a reason.


Written by Ashlee Scott, blogger

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